Can you say the same about your heart?
Someone I love used to say, "There's always room for one more." And I believed it. Love is constantly expanding. There is always room for one more in the heart. Isn't there?
Recently I participated in a releasing ceremony. It's purpose was to declutter the heart. To prepare, we had to write letters to those we wanted to release saying all that needed to be said. Then the big day arrived. Participants entered the sacred circle, we surrounded ourselves with the four elements, wind, water, fire and earth. God was invited to join us and help us cut the ties that bind us to these people so we could release the unhealthy relationships and move on. Then a little voice added "or create new healthy relationships with these same people." Brilliant!
There was a pit in the center of the circle and one by one we placed a letter in the pit and watched it burn. We took turns stating "I release you and give you to God with love." Name after name, letter after letter, some smoldering and fighting the flames and others burning up fast and furious. With each name and each letter we visualized the tie holding us to that person being cut. In my mind there was a big pair of scissors. Some ties brought wrenching pain, others not a twinge, some brought tears, others a sense of release. Name after name, letter after letter. "I release you and give you to God with love."
Honestly, I thought it was stupid. How could this make any difference? Eventually it was over and we left the circle in the sand. Did this somehow change me? Is there really a purpose to cleaning your heart house?
But as days moved on and time kept marching little things started to happen. I cleaned house literally. Those earrings that he gave me when we were dating, had to go. The t-shirt someone else gave me, that I still sleep in years later, even tho I'm sleeping beside someone else now, it was easy to throw that into the give-away box. The necklace that my very first boyfriend game me when I was 13, came out of the drawer and went into the give away. It was a start.
Then I decided to clean out my email. All the sent and received love letters, deleted. Next came the contacts on my phone, numbers and emails, people I haven't talked to in years, deleted.
Did this happen because I set the intention to let go?
Maybe there is a reason to clean your heart house. I swept out regret, anger and resentment. I mopped up grief and hurt. I dusted all the cobwebs of memories out of the corners. Then I looked around and liked what I saw. All that is left in my heart is people and memories that make me happy. My friend calls this 'value added'. There is no space in my heart for people that make me feel bad, people that aren't there for me, people that offer up guilt or fear or sorrow. The only people left in my heart add value to my life.
I have always been an advocate of decluttering, with cleaning closets, regular trips to donate to the thrift store, and throwing trash in the trash. It is important to me that there is space in my house and the more stuff you have to take care of, the less time you have to play. If you don't love it or use it every day, get rid of it. Yet I've never thought of applying that to thoughts and emotions and relationships. I've always held on to people, maintaining contact long after it is time to move on. No more!
There is space in my heart now for people that love and value me. I am worth it. All those people that have walked away over the years, who haven't called or emailed or texted or visited, they aren't worth getting upset over. I've made space in my heart for the people that want to be a part of my life. For anyone else, that doesn't have the time or interest...
I release you and give you to God with love.
Be happy.
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