F*ck'em All

I'm a good girl. I know it. I always do the right thing. I mail Christmas cards and thank you notes. I do the chores before I play. I volunteer. I'm mostly always on time. I hold my tongue when I'm irritated. I go to bed on time and get up early. I'm a good girl.

But lately I'm trying on a new attitude to see how it fits. I call it the "f*ckem all" attitude. I say it's a bad attitude but I'm not really sure that it is a bad thing.  I'm tired of doing the right thing all the time. I'm tired of holding my tongue.  I'm more interested in doing what I want, when I want. Is that wrong?

So it occurred to me that we are all doing exactly as we choose, every minute of every day. No way! you might exclaim, but hear me out... I got up early this morning and got my kids ready for school, made their lunches and drove them there. I choose to do this because I value clean, fed, happy children.  I choose to clean the kitty litter because I really don't like the smell of the nasties. I choose to scrub my bathroom toilet because I don't like sitting to pee on a toilet covered with little boy drips.

Are you with me? There are people that don't clean the toilet or the kitty litter. There are people who don't make lunch for their kids or brush their daughter's hair.  You may hate your job but I bet you like it better than being homeless and hungry.  I promise there are people who are homeless cause they didn't want to hold down a job. Every moment of life is a choice.

The difference is that now I'm choosing to please me. Does that mean I have a bad attitude? I think it just means that what you think isn't as important to me as what makes me happy. Is it wrong to pursue my dreams and my happiness with a single minded determination?  I don't think so. Wouldn't the world be a wonderful place if we all put down our guilt and our shame, left the shoulda,  woulda, coulda behind and did what we want. Take responsibility for our own happiness.  Acknowledge that what you are doing right now, you are doing because you chose too.

Often we do what we do because we don't like the consequences of doing different. If you don't go to work, you lose your job, then you lose your house, then your wife leaves you and takes the kids. Well that sucks, might as well go to work and avoid all the unpleasantness.  See, that's your choice.

So my choice is to say f*ck'em all and do what I want. It doesn't matter if you like it or not. I'm tired of doing the right things for the wrong reasons. I still do the right things sometimes cause I like to volunteer and I like clean toilets. That's just me. But more and more I do exactly what I want, when I want, how I want. I'm gonna take a day and go sailing. I'm gonna curl up in my hammock with a trashy romance.  I'm gonna go out dancing or stay home and go to bed early. Whatever!

What I'm not gonna do is worry about if I've hurt your feelings for doing what I want to do. I'm not gonna do the right thing because it will make someone else happy. I'm not gonna carry guilt or fear.  If you have a problem, well f*ck you,  f*ck'em all I say, cause that is your problem and I'm not carrying your problems any more.