Missed Opportunities

My heart hurts.... It aches for missed opportunities.

How many times do people choose the easy path?

How many times do people choose to do the "right" thing?

How many times do people choose the path without complications?


Not me, my path is messy and full of drama and complications.  There is no right or wrong choice, only my choice.  I made the choice to live with an open heart, to explore whatever my Source puts in front of me.  Sometimes it hurts.  Most of the time it is not easy.  Some days I'm afraid or lonely.  But every time, I choose to step into my fear.

Over and over again I meet people who, because of fear, because they are just not capable of opening their heart, reject the messy unpredictability of life.  It is safer to stay home then embrace the unknown.  It is safer to keep your feet on the ground, then to fly.  It is safer to be alone then to love.


There are always excuses... it isn't the right time or the right place or the right person.  The situation isn't right, there is the possibility of getting hurt.  There are what if's?  But I would rather discover the what if today, then live with the I should have... or I could have...

Sixteen years ago I met a man, we liked each other, a lot.  But I had children and he had been abused as a child so he was never going to be a father.  His fear and his wounds were greater than his love.  I've never forgotten him or the lessons I learned from him.  He was bound by his childhood wounds.  Parents beat their children.  He would never be a parent because he didn't want to beat a child.  He couldn't even contemplate a different way.  Yet my parents beat me and I've never once beat my children.  No, there were no wooden spoons or hair brushes broken over their backsides.  I never used a hot wheel track to whip them.  I found my own way, a messy, complicated way that is full of love and rewards.

A few years ago, after getting divorced, I met another man.  We went on a date, he kissed me.  He started calling every night, he asked me out for a second date, then fear got the best of him.  He hadn't dated since high school.  His wife had divorced him.  He was no good at relationships and he didn't even want to try.  He created his own reality of fear and loneliness.  He closed his heart to me and what could have been.  I moved on, always wondering what might have been and if he ever found a way to let his love be greater than his fear.

This story repeats over and over and over.  A woman who is too afraid of what her life will be like so she doesn't leave her husband and instead chooses to live in unhappiness.  Another woman who thinks that no one will ever love her so she stays while her husband has an affair and mistreats her.  A child who is so downtrodden that they won't even swing when they're up to bat or try something new or speak their truth.

 This makes me appreciate those people I meet who embrace their fear and step into their authentic self.  Perhaps a woman gives her phone number to a man she meets or a child zip lines out of the window of the barn.  Each time, they acknowledge their fear, they recognize the discomfort and they do it anyway.

When I met my guy, he was afraid, he didn't want to be involved with a woman who had the responsibility of seven children.  But when it came right down to choosing between love and fear, he chose love for me over fear of responsibility.  I admire that about him.

My best friend lives her life without apologies.  I may not understand or agree with her choices, I may not parent the same way she does.  We make different choices about our priorities and our lifestyles.  But I deeply admire her ability to be her most authentic self, regardless of other people's judgments.  She inspires me.

Sometimes life is messy.  Sometimes  life is complicated.  Sometimes life is even painful.  But the wonders and joy of living fully make up for the messy times. The fun and excitement make up for the complications. The abundance of love in my life make up for the painful times.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  When I recognize that someone is closing their heart and taking the easy path, my heart aches for the missed opportunities, but I'm forever grateful for the reminder to keep my heart open, to experience all that life has to offer, to love fully and deeply.  Life is too short to worry about the messes and the drama and the hurts.  I'm busy filling up on the adventures and the fun and the joy.