What Do you Do?

What are you supposed to do when people are mean? What do you do when your heart hurts and you want to cry?

Because people are mean and they are cruel. Unfortunately it seems like the ones you love hurt you the most. 

So what do you do then? Your mother,  your lover, your very best friend do or say hurtful things. There is a sense of shock, a catch in your breath. Why cries in your mind. Why? Whatever did I do to deserve this?

Did I do something wrong? Am I unworthy of your kindness?  Is it my fault? 

I stop talking when I'm hurt. I might walk away or turn my head while I figure out what to do next.

Am I supposed to speak my truth? Confront you with my pain?  Should I tell you that you have hurt me? Did you mean to? Did you want to? Because you did.

Or should I go cry in a corner and feel sorry for myself? Oh poor me. No one will ever love or respect me the way I deserve.

Should I get angry? Maybe yell at you,  give you the silent treatment or even say something mean back. Will that make me feel better?

Different days, different people, different circumstances, I've tried each. Yet people are still mean and my heart still hurts.

Now I offer compassion and forgiveness. I bite my tongue and cry my tears in private. No one knows the hurt in my heart.  It is mine alone.

I inspect my wounds. I look at where I am taking other people's words and actions personally, instead seeing them as fear and a longing for love.

And I wonder at what point do you walk away? When does the pain overpower the love? When does the joy no longer compensate for the hurt?

How much can any one person take and still keep their heart held open?

What do you do when people are mean and your heart hurts?