I used to write to God...

I used to write to God. Day after day, weeks turned into months, turned into years. I filled up one notebook and then another. Long rambling letters sometimes full of gratitude and joy, other times the pages were dotted with my tears, still other days the letters were full of questions and confusion.

But then I read a self-help book. It wasn't helpful. It told me that I was doing it wrong.  It said that writing letters to God was good but it also said I needed to say certain things and do it at a specific time of day. For three days I followed the outline in the book. For three days I wrote what the book told me to say. Then I quit.

I didn't just stop following their outline. No. I quit. I stopped writing to God. I was sad. I was lonely. I was confused.  I was silent.

One day I realized that just because they had written and published a book about it didn't mean that their way was the right way or the only way. It didn't mean that I had to do it their way or that my way wasn't good enough. So I sat with my notebook and my pen and my tears and I wrote to God once again.

It made me think about how often we look for answers outside of ourselves. We listen to the rich and famous. We read the self-help books. We go to church and listen to the preacher tell us how to do it. We have coaches and teachers and parents and lovers all putting in their two cents, but their way isn't necessarily the right way for me or for you. 

Within each one of us there is a deep instinctual well of knowledge. We know ourselves better then anyone else knows us. We know what matters to us and what works for us.  This is where our answers should come from.

Perhaps instead of sitting in a church you commune with God on a mountain top. Perhaps you meditate by curling up under the warm blankets on a snowy morning. Perhaps you get your exercise by dancing around the kitchen with the music turned up loud.

You like to run, he likes to swim and I do yoga. It's all good.

I write, you paint, he plays music. Is any one creative gift better then the other?

Do you bow your head and fold your hands to pray? Do you think God hears your prayers better if you get down on your knees beside your bed at night?

I find stillness on the beach beside the crashing waves. You find it on the top of a mountain. She finds it within the pages of the Bible. Each one of us is still connecting to God.

Yes, I like to call him/her/it God. I find comfort in the name he/she/it was given to me as a baby in a church. Perhaps you use a different name. Jehovah. Allah. Krishna. The Divine. The Goddess. The Universe. Mother Earth. The Creator. Life. Whatever name you use, we are all talking about the same thing and it is that which gives us our inner knowing.

It's so important to trust yourself.  Your way is the right way for you. Instead of looking out there for knowledge, look within. Is what you're doing bringing you joy? If so, run with it. If not, try something different. 

It isn't that all those books and teachers don't have wisdom to impart, but it is their wisdom. Listen, weigh it out, question it. Does it resonate with you? Does it work in your life? No one, no matter how rich or famous, no matter how many books they've written, no matter how much knowledge they have or speeches they've spoken, no one knows you better than you know you. No one knows what you need better than you. No one

Instead of looking out there for your wisdom, your gifts and your power, look within. Be honest with yourself. Trust your inner knowing and then authentically live your best life.