I lost my son. I lost my best cousin. I lost my guy. I lost my best friend. And then I lost myself. I lost the will to live. I lost joy and wonder and magic. And yet I kept walking. One foot in front of the other.
Day after day I walked through a world that held pain and grief and loss. Day after day I contemplated giving up. Day after day I cried. But I kept on walking.
I lost integrity. I lost faith. I lost hope. I held love in one hand and fear in the other, and I chose fear. I chose fear every day, until I was drowning in it. I couldn't catch my breath.
I was lost in a hell of my own making. And still, I kept on walking. While the flames licked at my feet and the tears burned my cheeks.
Until one day, love walked into hell and smiled at me. One day, love took my hand and asked me to choose. One day, I held fear in one hand and love in the other and I chose love.
I chose love. I didn't want to go on. I didn't want to live. I had nothing left. But I chose love, and I walked out of hell into a world of magic.
I found love in a world full of tiny, beautiful things. It was there in the frost on the window, the falling leaves, a baby's laughter. It was there, waiting for me to find my way out of hell.
Today I am unapologetically joyous. The world is full of wonder again. I do work that feeds my soul. I am surrounded by people who love me. I love and am loved. I see beauty and goodness everywhere.
I have walked through the fires of hell, and I have come out the other side. I do not regret the trip, or how long it took me. I have earned peace, love and joy, with every flaming footstep and burning tear drop.
Now instead of walking through hell, I am dancing through life. I have held fear, and I have held love. I once chose fear. Today I chose love. Today I chose laughter. Today I chose life, in all its wonder and magic. Today I chose peace.
