Alone in the dark, I sit in the belly of the whale.
It hits me. There's no way out, no where left to run. I have done all I could do to escape and it didn't work. In the midst of the storm, I sank into the depths of despair. Deeper and deeper I sank.
Then, I woke up here.
Alone in the dark, in the belly of the whale.
I promised God I would do whatever was asked of me. I vowed to follow wherever I was led. I said I would let go of whatever was taken from me.
Until too much was asked. Until I was led too far off the path. Until I lost what I really wanted.
Then I ran. Afraid of what was in front of me, I ran. Terrified to let go, I clung. Desperate to have a plan, I fought for control.
I forgot what was important to me. I reacted out of fear. I forgot that I came from love, am surrounded by love and will return to love. I forgot that I myself, am love. I forgot that I am always divinely protected. My God will not forsake or abandon me.
In a frenzy to escape my own fear I made some questionable choices. I did whatever I could to distract myself, to bury my emotions ever deeper. I ran hard until I found myself in the belly of the whale.
Here I stop. There is no where left to run. There is no where to hide.
Alone with my shame in front of my God, I fall to my knees and submit. Not my will but thine.
Where ever you send me, I will go.
Whatever you take from me, I will release.
Whatever you ask of me, I will do.
It's peaceful here, alone in the dark, in the belly of the whale.
It's a good place to rest, to restore my soul, to connect with my God and to make peace with myself.
