Diving Deep

"How are you?" we ask with a smile as we hurry past someone.

"Good, how are you?" they reply. But we're already gone on our way. 

Fine, good, things are great.  We brush the surface like a bug skating on the top of the water.  Here and then gone, too quick to even leave a ripple. I think if we stopped and shared how we really feel, at that moment, the polite inquirer would be appalled. They didn't really care. They didn't really want to hear it. 

So we put on a mask when we go out. We smile and pretend. Sometimes we pretend so well that we forget that it's all an act. We lose touch with the depths of our soul. Our dreams fade. Our fears remain unspoken. Very rarely do we take off the masks, peel back the layers and share what lies deep beneath the surface. Even with those we love and share our lives with, we make light of our pain or we down play our joy. We strive so hard to hide our vulnerability.  

Certain things are taboo. Words like "I hurt." "I'm sad." "I'm scared." "I'm lonely." But just as unacceptable are words like "I'm awesome." or "I did it." 

So we tuck our feelings down deep and instead of sharing and connecting with people we feel everything in isolation.  We don't trust anyone with our secrets. Too often those secrets are the truth of who we are and how we feel and our truth gets lost.

Our truth gets lost as we work and play, gossip and chat. We listen to music, watch TV and troll the internet. We make up stories then tell them to ourselves and others. 

We put on masks and deny our true selves.  

Then we wonder why we are so lonely. We wonder why we are anxious and afraid.  We wonder why no one loves us. But not once do we ever take off the mask and share our true self with anyone.  Instead we wait and hope that someone, anyone else will go first. 

That is why I write, because here, in my blog, there are no masks, there is no pretending.  Exposing the depths of my soul is hard and it's scary. There are times when I don't want to publish. But I know I am not alone in my joys and my sorrow, my dreams and my fears. I know that if I deny my authentic self a little part of me dies. 

This blog is about diving deep. It is about sharing my truth. It is about living authentically. My hope is that my courage, my honesty will inspire you to find and live your truth, to speak honestly. Everyone has a story to tell. Tell me yours because I want to know you. I want to see the real you, your fears and your sorrows,  your hopes and your dreams. 

I want the opportunity to know you and love you, in all your wonderful layers.